Sunday, November 18, 2007

Kids say the darndest things....

*This post is being guest-written by my husband, Chris.*

So my little girl and I were delegated to go to the grocery store while my wife and oldest daughter went clothes shopping. Usually this is a pretty good trade off. Tonight it was a good one for a whole new reason.

We did our shopping and it was rather uneventful. She wanted to push the cart. That was fine. It just means that I need to stay on a little higher alert than normal because the feeling of a cold hard grocery cart running up the back of your Achilles tendon is one that I can live without... again. :( She did pretty well and we were still both able to walk by the time we were done. I decided to push as we headed out into the parking lot.

As we're walking out to the car my daughter looks up at me and starts a conversation something like this:
Hannah: Wow, the cart is so quiet here! (She tends to notice how loud the carts are at most
places on our way to the car because she's only a little taller than the cart)
Me: Yeah they made the asphalt pretty smooth here didn't they.

After a slight pause Hannah looks up at me and says...

Hannah: Daddy, why don't they make the assfart smooth everywhere?

After slight pause to process in my mind what I thought I just heard, and the welling tears of laughter. In the most smooth, calm and uneffected voice I could muster I, of course, have to be sure she said what I thought I heard.

Me: What did you just call the ground here?
Hannah: (said in the most matter of fact voice possible) Assfart.

Luckily it was dark and she couldn't see the tears just about to stream down my face as I try to keep it together and tell her what the blacktop is truly called.

Gotta love it when your kids don't quite get what you're saying and they "improvise".

11 comments:

Caroline said...

Oh....My.....Goodness! that's so funny! That's why I love kids.

Meanwhile, sorry I called you Donny. In my defense, your mom looks like Donny...

Oh man, I think I just made it worse. Sorry Karen.

Celia Fae said...

Thanks for the big laugh. I needed it tonight. Assfart, oh my gosh. I think my lungs are cleaned out now.

Kristine said...

Oh that is hillarious! Brought me to tears as well. So funny!

Pineapple Princess said...

How old will Hannah be when you tell her what that means?

Love your guest writer, make sure he writes again. Kids love to hear stories from their dad's too!

Heather said...

Hats off to Chris for not telling her what she was saying.

Hannah is just so cute and little , I laugh everytime I think of the words assfart coming out of her mouth.

Jen said...

How funny is that!! Bravo to guest writer and his unbelievable ability to not laugh in that situation!! I can't imagine hearing that come out of sweet little hannah, even if she didn't know what she said! So funny!!!

lackrik said...

can't.stop.laughing!

that is SOOOooooo funny!

lindser-lou said...

oh dear little hannah....

i love her and i think they should officially change the name of asphalt....that would make things so much more interesting, and at least fit the smell of the stuff!
I can see how she was confused! :)

Jessica said...

I love how he made her repeat it! (Seriously there have to be parenting perks...and this is one of them!)

Denae said...

THAT is HILARIOUS!!! Kids are the best when they get things mixed up and they are so innocent! It is just too hard to hold the laughter in. It sounds like you did a good job of it!

Ellie said...

Maybe a toy assfart roller for Christmas?