Some Girls Have All the Luck...

(do you have that Rod Stewart song in your head now?...sorry)

It all started back in 2003 (shoot! have I lost you already?) I went to the mailbox in the springtime and there was a letter from the state department of revenue. I eagerly opened the letter expecting my tax refund. Instead, I was met with a most unfriendly letter from them explaining that, due to some unpaid fees in another county, I would not be receiving my refund this year...they had used it to pay the fees.

Instantly, my untrusting mind thought...'What did Chris do?!...and when was he even IN that county to DO it?!' Oh boy, was I on the war-path. After numerous reassurances on his part that he had nothing to do with this (and his own accusations flung my way - relax! we were just playing), I called the county involved to try to get to the bottom of all this nonsense.

After a little bit of digging, we were able to determine that a certain fellow - with whom I was not acquainted - was arrested back in 1990 (when I was living out of the country)...and he gave MY social security number at the time of his arrest. Since that time, he had been arrested several times and had recently been released from prison. As part of his sentence, there was some restitution to be paid...enter my tax return.

After several heated calm, cool conversations I found someone who had sympathy on me and helped me out. He removed my ssn from my new 'friend's' record and I went on my merry way...thinking nothing more of it.

Oh, how naiive can I be?!

Fast forward to today. I unsuspectingly stepped out to the mailbox to see what fun awaited me there, and much to my happy surprise, there was my state tax return. I thought, "hooray! now I can buy some shorts, because it's stinking hot here!" Ah, but no! no new shorts for me today.

As luck would have it, my 'friend' has found himself in a little bit more hot water. He again owes money to a government agency for restitution, and he is again - or still - using my ssn. As of this moment, I have spoken to about 5 government agencies, 1 lawyer, 1 fraud investigator for the police department and anyone else who would lend a sympathetic ear. And yet...no resolution. *sigh*

It seems I have to go to court in another city (nowhere near where I live) to prove I'm me. Then I have to fill out a trillion and one papers and have them notarized so the police can investigate and hopefully deport arrest this guy once and for all (Thank heaven for my very smart law-knowing brother who pointed out to me that I should call the police because first and formost, this is a crime after-all and there need to be charges brought up against this guy for the NUMEROUS counts of fraud he has committed by repeatedly using my ssn). Then I get to contact the social security bureau and change my ssn...which should sufficiently screw things up from now 'til forever...good-bye social security account...it was nice knowin' ya.

And how much money did they get out of me? How much did the city end up with after all is said and done? $30! THIRTY DOLLARS! 3-0! My phone bill will be more than that by the time I have this all straightened out!