The Trouble with Being Nice

Caroline posted about her 1st date. Since my 1st date was pretty fun, I thought I'd post about my WORST date...which for Caroline may have been one and the same.

I was about 18 and was working at Broadway Southwest. I was a 'floater', so I would go work in different departments from day to day, but I spent most of my time in the customer service department. It was here that I met Neil.

Neil was a nice enough guy, but probably 6-8 years older than me...which was already a strike against him. He had some, well, some physical things that immediately made me think he wasn't dating material (which as I type it, makes me embarrassed at how superficial that sounds. But I guess that was my 18 yr. old brain). Neil was one of those touchy-feely types. Me?...not so much. He was always rubbing my shoulders, putting his hand on my back or waist, or finding some reason to touch me (I guess this was before the days of sexual harassment rules). I thought it was all innocent enough and it didn't really bother me all that much (NAIVE). Oh, did I mention he had a girlfriend that also worked there? That's somewhat significant. Everything was pretty harmless. Or so I thought (did I already mention I was naive?).

One day I came to work straight from a wedding, so I was pretty dressed-up, compared to normal. Neil would not stop staring at me. He kept going on and on about how great I looked and how pretty my dress was, etc. This was the day it all turned creepy.

From that day, he started asking me out. Remember the afore mentioned girlfriend? She got to hear all about me, so I was getting death stares from some evil woman who thought I was after her man...UM, YOU CAN HAVE HIM! I was always able to figure out some reason why I couldn't go out with him until one night. He said that he wanted to just take me to a movie...and it was totally harmless, and wouldn't I please just go out with him ONCE and he would leave me alone. So, against all my better judgment...I agreed to go to a movie with him on a Friday night after work.

The blessed day came, and I was literally sick to my stomach. I did not want to go on this date! Not even a little bit. We closed up and headed out to the parking lot where we were deciding on who's car to take. He says he wants to drive...fine. great. let's just get this over with. We get in his car and...nothing...the car. won't. start. I'm thinking 'Thank you Heavenly Father for letting this date not happen' and I'm ready to bail. I told him we should just cut our losses and try again some other night (fully intending on never NOT having an excuse again). He wouldn't let me go. So I suggested we just take my car, and he could deal with his after the movie. Nope, that wasn't going to work either. He assured me he had a friend who could just come and help him out and it would be quick and we could just catch a later movie.

So we call the friend...

And we wait for him to get there...

And he finally pulls up in this total 'date rape' van...complete with hollowed-out-to-make-room-for-the-BED, brown-shag-carpet-all-over-walls-floor-and-ceiling interior.

YIKES!!! Who drives these cars?!? At this point, I'm seriously thinking...this isn't good. By this time, the mall was totally desolate, and I'm alone in the parking lot with 2 strange men and a DATE RAPE van! I was starting to freak a little.

They worked on the car while I sat there, completely irritated. I kept telling him I was just going to leave and we'd do this some other time and he kept begging me not to go. (*As I type this, I'm thinking how mad I am that I let my need to be nice win over safety...but it just gets worse*)

They eventually decided that whatever was wrong, could be fixed, but the part was at the friend's house which was 20-30 min. away. We could just go and get it real quick and be right back. Um...did they say WE? as in ME? get in the date rape van (now known as the DRV)? Um...NOT. Sadly, shamefully, the disease to please won and I actually got in the DRV with 2 virtual strangers. I was the lucky one who got to sit on the 'bed', while they sat in the front seat talking. I prayed the whole time that I would not end up one of those 'scare tactic' stories the police use when they're talking to a group of young girls to teach them how to be safe on a date. I honestly don't think I have ever prayed so hard in my ENTIRE life.

When we got to the friend's house, I was so uncomfortable and actually really scared. I told Neil that I needed to call my mom and let her know what was going on. Did I mention I have the BEST mom ever? I called home and told her what was going on. She asked me if I was scared and I said yes. She asked me if I wanted her to tell me I had to come home and I said yes. So, being awesome and understanding as she is, she made up some reason why I had to be home right away (thanks, Mom! for teaching me that sometimes it is okay to lie). Neil, trying to be all chivalrous (if it wasn't so creepy) offered to drive me home (we were closer to my house than we were to my car which was back at work). I'm thinking...do you REALLY think I'm going to let you take me home?!? so you can see where I live?!? HECK NO! The 3 of us hopped back in the DRV and they took me back to the mall.

The rest is history. He was so embarrassed about the 'date' that he never asked me out again.

The moral here?
1. Trust your better judgement
2. Always drive so you can be in control
3. NEVER under any circumstances, get in a DRV
4. Sometimes your Mom will surprise you and be your best ally

Please feel free to use this with your pre-teen/about-to-start-dating-daughters as the example of what NOT to do.

Now what's YOUR worst date?