Monday, April 14, 2008

'FAN'-tastic Day at Church

So, ever since being required to sit on 'the stand' each week at church, dh's fingers have been itching to get a hold of the controls that operate the rising and lowering of the podium and the fan controls...mostly the fan controls. Well, yesterday, since the other counselor was out of town, he finally got his chance. All week he was salivating at the chance to finally have the last say on the temperature in the chapel.

As I walked in and sat down, I was, of-course, sweating because that's what happens when you're running're running (and it was 95 degrees outside already!). I looked up at him, and he was mouthing to me how hot he was. I got up and turned the a/c on and he started in with the fans.

At first, it felt so nice...the fans were circulating the air, the a/c was nice and cool. Then it started. My kids (tiny little things without a speck of fat on their bodies) started complaining that they were cold ...then I started to feel a little 'windblown'. I tried motioning to my husband that we were cold and he should turn them down. I think we need some practice our 'pew-to-pulpit' sign language, because he couldn't understand what I was trying to tell him.

He finally got it, and turned them down. But the reprieve didn't last long. I think there is something wrong with the fans...or perhaps it was 'user error', because suddenly, we were experiencing the wind chill again. And so it then slow...all through church. At one point, I started worrying a little bit about the wind. I had to sing a duet during that meeting, and I was nervous that the wind was going to dry out my throat so badly that it would crack on the high notes (never a pleasant sound)...then the stress of it all made my throat all dry. I guess it turned out alright...however, there was some cracking at the end. *shrug* Later, he told me that although he tried to turn them down, the fans would just start going fast again all on their own. We just kept making eye contact throughout the meeting and laughing about the possessed fans.

Amidst the fan-capades there were, of-course, talks going on. In our church, the congregation does the teaching. Usually there are 1 or 2 'youth' (12-18 yr. olds) and then 1-2 adults. Sunday our youth speaker was a 16 yr. old boy who comes from a family in which public speaking is a big deal. They make their kids take speech and debate in high school so they will be well spoken adults. And generally, they are. So, imagine my surprise when he got up and started his talk sounding much like 'Nicholas Fehn' from SNL. If you're not familiar, here's a clip from last week.

His talk went something like this:
"I chose to talk about the Book of Mormon today. In Seminary...okay...the Book of Mormon and the seminary...okay...the the Book of Mormon it says...well, in the Bible, we read...okay...ahem..." and on and on. I didn't know whether someone put him up to doing the SNL character, or if I should feel bad for him because he was so nervous. I was physically uncomfortable for the kid. Finally, after about 3 painful minutes, he put the front page of his notes behind the 2nd page, and gave a very nice talk. It was all I could do not to look up at Chris. If I had, I'm afraid we both would've gotten the giggles. You know...the unstoppable ones you get at church?


Jen said...

okay how you managed to not laugh during that is amazing!! especially if you thought of that guy because i had never seen him but i could not stop laughing. that was seriously hilarious, poor kid!!! I would have had a huge fit of the uncontrollable giggles!!! I think one of the best memories of growing up are the uncontrollable church giggles!!

Micheline said...

I didn't think it was too cold at all during church - and you did a great job on your song. Now - the first two talks were a little loooong - which made sacrament meeting go longer - which is never a good thing for Primary - right?

Pineapple Princess said...

Oh, the power of switches, buttons, knobs and controls.(That would make a great sketch on SNL) At least there are a few perks besides blessings!

Kristine said...

Soooo FUNNY! Gave me a good laugh cause I cetch myself doing that from time to time. Oh that poor kid!

andee said...

holy crap that is spot on! poor kid, it was seriously painful.

Cookie Mama said...

Alright, I want a boundary exception to attend your ward. I would love to watch the pew-to-pulpit sign language. I can only imagine.

Sorry to hear about the possessed fans. You'd think they'd be good, righteous, obedient, spiritual fans. Too funny!